Barack Hussein Obama Reemerges – Makes Huge Announcement

For centuries, there has been a tradition in this country that former presidents have enough class to retreat from the spotlight after leaving office to allow their successor to lead the country unchallenged. Unfortunately, Barack Hussein Obama is such an egomaniac that he is completely ignoring this tradition, and is instead running around as if he is still president.

During his presidency, Obama repeatedly showed that he cares about nothing more than being popular in Hollywood. He showed this once again last night when he dropped everything to appear on Jimmy Kimmel’s annual star-studded (RED) shopathon special for his late-night show. The Hollywood Reporter reported that Kimmel welcomed the “currently unemployed” Obama, who recorded a motivational video message for the charity-centered episode as a surprise.

Obama began by informing the audience that everyone embodies different roles, emphasizing that he isn’t just a “former president” but “a husband who hasn’t done his Christmas shopping yet.”

“I know we live in a time when cable news and our Twitter feeds can make it feel like cynicism is everywhere,” said Obama. “But when it comes to the fight against HIV/AIDS there is some genuinely good news to share.”

Obama went on to explain the story behind the cause to encourage everyone to help.

“More than half of all people living with the virus are on life-saving medication and AIDS-related deaths have been cut in half since their peak,” Obama said. “It wasn’t down to mysterious forces or chance, but the countless people working for years who chose to make this progress.”

“When we reject cynicism and pessimism in favor of a relentless optimism that says, ‘However long it takes, however lonely the fight,’ each of us can make a difference. That’s what I believe,” Obama concluded.

Obama then joked that those who contribute could pilot Air Force One for a day or have access to the classified alien files.

“No? We can’t do that either? But I have them in my desk right now,” Obama said after he was informed he couldn’t offer both of those prizes anymore.

Of course, Obama’s appearance was actually not motivated by the charity in the slightest. Instead, he simply wanted to reaffirm his position in Hollywood, which is the one place in America that he is still worshipped as the God he fancies himself to be.

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